September 19, 1999 - The Q102 Concert

“The Q102 Concert was last night. It was ok. I went with (friends) Ok well look what happened before. (My crush) really wanted to go but I didn’t have enough tickets. Well someone backed out and I was all excited cause I was going to tell him he could go for his birthday. Well when I told him he was just like eh I don’t think I want to go. I thought that was kinda weird. Then the next day he told me he wanted the ticket to go himself. I thought that was even weirder. Well the night before the concert he was trying to get me to sell it to him and I wouldn’t. Then I guess he felt too bad cause he told me to give the ticket to someone else cause he said he was going to take my ticket and go with (two other girls). I was so pissed off. Then I asked why he wouldn’t go with me but he’d go with (two other girls) and he said because he was embarrassed of me. I asked him if it was cause I wasn’t pretty enough and he said no then I asked if it was because I wasn’t cool enough and he said well yeah you aren’t as cool as everyone else. I was so hurt. He was being so mean until I started crying. He felt bad after but I still can’t believe that he said that and that he could be that mean. I can’t wait until I don’t like him.”

Reflection

Kids can be mean. Adults can be mean. This is one of those crucial life moments where you take it in, you take a deep breath, and you grow up. He was right. I wasn't one of the cool kids. I didn't wear the coolest clothes or have the coolest friends, and in high school, sometimes that makes all the difference. It hurt... a lot. To know someone is embarrassed of you, especially the boy you have a crush on, is a tough pill to swallow. I will never forget that feeling. The one positive that I walked away with was that I would never in my life make someone else feel how I felt in that moment. 

If I knew then what I know now...

I'd tell myself that this wouldn't be the last time someone would be mean to me or make me feel this way. I'd give myself the biggest hug and remind me that it's moments like these that define us. If you never know what it feels like to be on the down side of things, you never learn how to be soft and empathetic with other people's feelings. I'd wipe the tears off my face and instead embrace the moment and appreciate that it made me a better person.

February 4-5, 1997 - Asking out a boy for the first time

“I am SO excited and nervous!
I asked **** out over the phone and he said he would think about it and tell me at school! I hope he says yes! If he says no I will be so mad!
I cant wait until tomorrow! This is the first time I have asked anyone out!
I will tell you what **** says tomorrow!”
— February 4, 1997

Courage

If there was one thing I did not lack growing up, it was courage.  Talk about putting yourself out there!  Hey, if you never try you never know. 

If I knew then what I know now...

I would give my young self the biggest hug and high five for believing in myself! This will be the beginning of the many risks I would learn to take.

“**** said no. Im so upset! He said, “I don’t think we should go out.” He said this before homeroom. At the end of the day he asked out ****! I was and still am so mad! I don’t think that relationship is going anywhere! Al is going to get so snobby!
She is going to be a brat and her friends won’t take it!”
— February 5, 1997

Ouch! Rejection!

I remember how embarrassed I was when he said no!  The positive is I was learning how to cope with rejection at a young age. It is healthy to get a taste of not getting what you want in life. This will definitely not be the last time, in any aspect of life, that I wouldn’t get what I wanted.

If I knew then what I know now...

I would relax because none of the relationships formed in middle school were going to last!  

July 8, 1993 - Recipe for the best week ever.

“Today my mommy took me to a PG-13 Movie, Jurassic Park. It was not that scary at all”

one of the many milestones in life-seeing your first PG-13 movie.
Notice how I made a point to stress how I wasn’t scared at all?

That’s a big lie.

On several occasions during that movie I specifically remember having my hands over my eyes. I did it though!

I proved to my parents that I was mature enough to see a PG-13 movie at the age of 8, and I couldn’t have been more proud!

“Yesterday, my Aunt Jane came, it was lots of fun, we made hot dogs wrapped in Crescent Rolls with Melted butter and mustard on them and we made smores. We used graham crackers, chocolate icing and marshmallow jif. ”

Cooking with kids is another activity that is overlooked by most adults. It teaches life skills as well as an appreciationfor activities we may not have known about.

Thanks to people like my aunt and my dad cooking with me-
I am now obsessed with the Food Network.

IF I KNEW THEN, what I know now....

I would have kept my hands away from my face during the scary parts and I would have bought stock in the Food Network.

Julie's Actual Entry from July 8, 1993

Julie's Actual Entry from July 8, 1993

10 Rules to follow in a Relationship: A 15 year old's views on dating

I’m pretty sure I was smarter at the age of 15 than I was most of my adult dating life.

Wouldn’t life be simple if you could just follow these rules? Even at 30 years old, I find myself struggling with one or two of these.  I say forget the saying, “see the world through a child’s eyes,” more people should DATE the world through a child’s eyes!  Forget the complications, social media, and rumors that complicate relationships. Think like my 15 year old self and stick to the basics.

1. Always be yourself; don't try to be perfect just so they don’t get mad.

Via Giphy

2. Let them know how you feel.

Via MTV

Via MTV

3. Don’t be jealous about everything; sit back and think of stuff you do that may look like flirting but means nothing.

Via Giphy

Via Giphy

4. Don’t forget your friends because they’re the ones that are comforting you when it’s over.

Via Giphy

Via Giphy

5. Always try your best to be friends after the break-up.

Via SmartLadiesLoveStuff

6. Don’t let them do whatever they want. If you think it’s wrong and you disagree-tell them.

Via Giphy

Via Giphy

7. Try your best to get together with them.

Via NDTV

Via NDTV

8. Understand that they need space. If you don’t talk to them ONE time don’t assume something is wrong.

Via WP

Via WP

9. Let them know how good they look. Don’t you feel so good when they tell you that?

Via Tumblr

Via Tumblr

10. Always tell the truth - if you did something wrong chances are they will find out anyway & it’s better if they hear it from you.

Via Giphy

Via Giphy

Julie's actual list of rules from 1999

Julie's actual list of rules from 1999